Domestic Violence Part 1

Assault on a Woman’s Worth

Domestic violence id devastating. While abusive acts are committed by both men and women, approximately 95% of domestic violence victims are women. How many children are affected by this problem? And many of these women blame themselves for the abuse, which further fuels the  cycle of violence. Domestic violence refers to a pattern of coercive and violent behaviors exercised by one adult in an intimate relationship with another.

Many victims find themselves thrown into the ditch of domestic violence. And as they repeatedly try to escape, they’re violently shoved back in to suffer more abuse. The violation of a trusted relationship produces sever pain. In the midst of it all one can find comfort in Psalm 34:18: “The LORD is close to the broken hearted and saves whose who are crushed in spirit.

What Is The Cycle Of Abuse?

Like a volcano, abuse doesn’t start with a sudden outburst of physical force, but rather with intense internal pressure in need of an outlet. Abusive patterns develop in three stages that are cyclical and become increasingly violent. Family members who fall victim to these patterns can feel traumatized by the mere anticipation of a violent eruption. Unfortunately, the escalating nature of abuse is rarely curbed without intervention and adequate accountability. Psalm 10:15 says, “Break the arm of the wicked and evil man; call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out.”

Agitated Stage: An environment of tension and anxiety marks the beginning phase of abuse. The husband communicates his dissatisfaction over something small and blames his wife. Through verbal and emotional abuse, a husband maintains passive psychological control over his wife and creates fear of impeding disaster. During this stage many women buy into the lies spoken to them and accept responsibility for their husbands’ unhappiness. Then they try to adjust their own behavior in an effort to please their husbands and relieve the tension in their homes.

“From the fruit of his lips a man enjoys good things, but the unfaithful have a craving for violence”  (Proverbs 13:2).

Acute Stage: In this phase, the pressure becomes so intense that the abuser erupts and services full vent to his rage. When violent behavior is unleashed, family members, outsiders, or police are often call upon to diffuse the rage. This acute stage of aggressive behavior doesn’t last long, but over time these overpowering outburst tend to become more frequent and more dangerous.

“An angry man stirs up dissension and a hot-tempered one commits many sins” (Proverbs 29:22)

Apologetic Stage: During this “honeymoon phase, ” the abuser becomes contrite, and the wife feels soothed by her husband’s loving actions. This temporary honeymoon phase is characterized by a dramatic transformation from being villainous to virtuous. This transformation is demonstrated by a number of the following : apologies, crying, gifts, helpfulness, bargaining, penitence, peacemaking, accepting responsibility, remorse, romance, promises, pleading. With renewed hope for change and the wife’s deep desire to have a successful marriage, she views her husband’s overtures as apologies and extends forgiveness. But, as with all honeymoon, they don’t last , and the cycle of anger occurs again… and again.

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it” (Proverbs 27:12).

 

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One Response to Domestic Violence Part 1

  1. Pingback: Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Remember My Name | Natural Living

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